A rant is a-comin’

I don’t do this too often but a rant is a-comin’…

How did I know there would be a full moon tonight?

A)  Did I read the astrological chart?

B)    Did I look at a calendar that shows little moon icons on certain days?

C)   Did someone tell me, “Hey Joanna… there will be a full moon tonight?”

None of the preceding scenarios is correct. I KNEW there would be a full moon tonight because the Mérida drivers were particularly CRAZY… starting at 6:45 this morning!

Picture this: It’s early…I’m coffee-deprived and half asleep. Enya is playing on the i-touch and I am gettin’ all psyched up for the 7 am Yoga class (you know the one where I am urged to bend my ample self into a pretzel shape…)

But part of me was alert (thank God!) because at the “La Iberica” intersection, while my head is turned to the left (the direction where the on-coming traffic would appear) a Kamikaze VW Combi filled with innocent school children comes careening up on my right, jumps the stop sign, cuts in front of me and screeches into the 3 centimeter space between himself, a great huge stone wall, and me and… charges up the road. Frightened children be damned!

I was about to have a heart attack! I pulled over to collect my wits and get myself back into that Yoga state of mind…

When my nerves had been sufficiently restored, I ventured back into the street and (¡Milagro!) made it without further incident to my destination.  I put in an hour of contortions that would make a Chinese circus promoter seriously consider me as their new headliner. I went out to my car…

I parked it across the street having left plenty of space to exit. But a horrible Honda had stuck himself  (almost UP) my rear and a malicious minivan had plunked herself (with the depraved driver still inside) in front of me. She had quite a bit of space in front of her so I made a little gesture with my hand, indicating that I would be greatly pleased if she could move up… just a tad.    (I’d get out and she’d have more room, right?) NOT! I think perhaps my little hand signal was misinterpreted and she thought I was telling her F-off… because she did not budge.

Crank the steering wheel to the right… inch forward… Straighten–up… inch forward… (Repeat the process six more times and finally… emerge from the middle of the sandwich.) And what did the minivan driver do… WELL, she backed into my spot – of course!

I cranked Enya way, way up and allowed her multi-track voiced-over sound to lull me into some semblance of calm. I saw my house  looming up ahead.

I was SO HAPPY to be home!

I did not venture out for the rest of the day. Now tell me, do normal every day upstanding citizens go crazy on “Full Moon + One?” I am going for a walk tomorrow morning but I think I’ll walk to the track… just to be on the safe side.

PS: Shortly after posting this, I checked out The Zapata Tales and saw Felipe’s gift of the day, “The Almond Tree.” Read it and see the other side of the coin… Days like he describes are why I live in Mexico… I guess in the grand scheme of things, dealing with the Merida drivers is a small price to pay.

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5 Comments

Filed under Family and Friends, Vida Latina

5 responses to “A rant is a-comin’

  1. Hi, Joanna–So glad you had the good sense to pull over and calm down! That move alone could have prevented something even worse.

    Yes, the driving here can be horrendous. I can recall a recent incident a bit like yours, and I still become, quite frankly, scared.

    Finally, a slight ray of hope: Within the last couple of months, I’ve seen at least two articles in the Diario de Yucatan addressing driving behavior–how courtesy pays off, and even how driving faster than needed uses more gas.

    I could write a whole lot more on this subject, but it will have to wait. But thanks for giving all of us who understand the problem, a chance to empathize.

  2. I had to read this just before our very first venture driving to Merida from Cancun! (:-D Oh well, at least we will be arriving late afternoon on Saturday. Hopefully, most people will be home taking a siesta and will not be on the streets of Merida. We will arrive, open our (I’m certain) very hot house, immediately shed our clothes, and jump into the pool with a resounding Ahhhhhh. When sufficiently cooled we will head to the nearest market for some supplies, then somewhere nearby for dinner. I’m thinking Amaro.

    Glad you were able to keep your cool with the minivan lady. I’m certain the yoga and Enya helped.

    • That’s right! Life in Merida isn’t perfect but it’s a pretty great substitute. Don’t worry about the drive from Cancun… come armed with Enya on your i-pod

  3. Being from New Jersey, I tend to think that some well-chosen curse words, projected fully and richly toward the intended audience, is as good as yoga. Does that mean I’m not cut out for life in Merida?

    • Well you’d have to make your voice very loud to be heard over the roar of the dash away down the street. But, I will tell you I did utter a few choice words and they weren’t the lyrics to Enya’s songs!

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