The Offensive Fern

Boy, some people have very little to occupy themselves. They must be so hard up for excitement that they try anything to incite it. The next little tale is a case in point…

We have a basket with a fern, hanging outside of our college’s main entrance. We figure she is a girl-fern and her name is Fee-Fee. There are other ferns who live deeper inside our grounds… in fact there are scores of them!

But one nearby resident has taken exception to Fee-Fee. He told us (repeatedly) that she is an eyesore, and we must remove her. He added that “Having a hanging basket is NOT colonial. You have a tourism school, you must respect the ambiance of the Centro Historico.”

R-e-a-l-l-y???

Worse yet, our prominent display of greenery has inspired the owner of the dear little hotel                                                                                                                                                                 across the street to place a potted plant on either side of the entrance way…

We ignored the fellow the first couple of times he came by… then we asked him to not come ‘round any more. So he filed a complaint about our offensive fern.

The City’s head honcho from the department that deals with such grave matters came to inspect the unsightly flora. He didn’t notice the object of concern as he walked underneath it , and in a very important voice asked us to show him the blot on the landscape. “You walked right past it,” we told him. He hurried back outside, and couldn’t believe that he’d been sent to see Fee-Fee.

We haven’t seen the offended fellow again. We’re willing to let bygones be bygones but if we get another complaint, we will suggest that the focus maybe concentrate on other matters. Check out the innovative manhole cover and the box of broken glass. Are they not much more unsightly and dangerous too!

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6 Comments

Filed under Family and Friends, Vida Latina

6 responses to “The Offensive Fern

  1. Jeanne

    I love that plant. It’s my landmark from a couple of blocks away whenever I’m walking to the school for our IWC meetings. It let’s me know I’m getting close. It’s my friend.

  2. mcm

    Well, that’s a pretty amusing story! Gotta keep your sense of humor….
    I have to say that while I have nothing against hanging plants — autentico o no — (and yours adds a nice cheerful look to the street, I think), I do get annoyed at the sometimes large planters set out on sidewalks, which are usually narrow enough… (not those that are set into recessed doorways, like those of your neighbor).

  3. I take it then your historical accuracy maven wouldn’t object to a steaming pile of burro poop… or maybe he wants a colorful leper or two with running sores or missing limbs … perhaps you can arrange also for an auto-de-fe to burn a few heretics now and again.

    Why do I get the feeling I know who this person is?

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